Bar Fight

And here, faster than a safe, everyday jaunt down I-95 can turn into what can only be described as a degenerate bar fight*, are my playlists from last week's show:



Log for first half of November 23rd, 2006 show

Log for second half of November 23rd, 2006 show


*No, really! I get it! You're not just another insane, tailgaiting jackal with no coping skills and a misplaced vendetta against everyone you think is in "your" way. On the contrary! You're very important. The other 15,000 people on the road should get out of "your" way!

We don't have parents, children, pets, friends, or lovers who depend on us and adore us. We never feel hurried or stressed because we're not YOU! It's a miracle we even know how to DRIVE. We have NO IDEA of what YOU, you INCREDIBLY IMPORTANT PERSON, are going through! Drive two feet from our rear ends while we're already going 65 in the slow lane on a 55mph road, please. It makes your problems go away! Surely, you'll be happy now that you've endangered our lives.

Why not make it a REALLY classy affair and just drunkenly break a barstool over our windshields while accusing us of sleeping with your man/woman/whatever? Your behavior is no better than that of your average barfly who swings at imaginary rivals during last call. You're out of control and you're no longer simply an enormous annoyance, you're dangerous to yourself and to others. Cut it out. Drive like a person who wants to live another day and then find JUST ENOUGH compassion to understand that literally tens of thousands of people around you want that very same thing for themselves.

Moral of the story: Please don't tailgate and drive aggressively. Leave a safe and ample distance between you and the car you're following. If you drive selfishly, like the aforementioned maniac, you might have the idea that you are more important than most people or that you are entitled to something that most people are not. You are incorrect. Driving like a bully is simply wrong; please get help. We want to like you and prefer to avoid horrible car wrecks.

And so ends my open letter to roughly 40% of our nation's drivers. Thank you. *slowly drifts off to sleep while hugging an imaginary 6' tall Valium*

P.S. I hope your Thanksgiving was awesome! Mine was actually incredibly sweet, unlike my tone for the driving rant. Forgive me, dear listeners...

Here. Look at the happy, pretty dancing. Don't think about mean Sarah's driving rant any more.