1st Prize One Week in Philadelphia; 2nd Prize Two Weeks in Philadelphia

Ah, Philadelphia, my sweet, vindictive darling. You may continue to taunt me with your insouciant charms, but I know that it's just a test. You've mistaken my aloof demeanor for a lack of affection, and that is not what is happening here. For I adore you, Philadelphia. I am here for you, no matter what tricks you play.

This weekend, for instance, you saw to it that my credit card and ATM card were stolen and used to fund a several-thousand-dollars goods-purchasing party at Best Buy. That was a nimble feint. I respect your attempt to take my attentions away from my true goal, which is to have a winsome and satisfying life here. But fear not, Philadelphia. I am on to you. I know that, secretly, you love me and want me not only to survive here, but to flourish.


Theft is not awesome. The Philadelphia cop who told me stories about being in "Juvie" as a kid for gangwars? AWESOME. He mentioned that, sometimes, it's better to give the nuisance criminals who hang out in the neighborhood "a little thump," rather than waste two hours taking them in and writing them up. ???

To the thief: Did you have to go to Best Buy and buy crap? If you'd gone to a mall and purchased clothing and shoes, I'd have felt better. Maybe it would have been for your kids or your kid sister or something. Couldn't you have gone to Super Fresh, too? It would have been nice of you to feed your friends and family with your newly found bounty (my damned credit card and ATM card). Hell, if you'd even put down a payment on some sort of reasonable car, THAT would have been better than buying crap at Best Buy.







Boo hiss, Thief.


P.S. Cool painting above courtesy of Charles Sabba's website.